Let me jog your memory.
She sent me this email..
“I have been giving this a lot of thought
and I have come to the conclusion that it is a
vicious cycle of lethargy and self loathing that is extremely hard to break!
I am hoping that pinpointing this and putting it in print
will help me chip away at it.
It’s about priorities –
and quite frankly I am not high on my list of priorities!
I measure myself on the success of my kids,
the tidiness of my house and my own career success,
I have yet to manage success in all three areas at once
let alone with a healthy diet and exercise
regime thrown in for good measure!
I KNOW how good I feel when I exercise,
I KNOW how it feels to feel good
when I’m going for a night out
so why doesn’t it feel good enough that
I will fight to always have these feelings?
It is about the world we live in and the world I work in,
I see so many people whose children are neglected
yet they always have money for drink and fags
and going out or even extensions and false nails!!
I am in the lucky position that my kids have a good life
and are certainly not neglected,
they are not spoilt either but by God
does this come at a cost,
not just monetary but time and commitment,
which means less of these things for me.
I know that my weight affects my family life,
I shy away from activities that I feel uncomfortable doing
because of my weight – THAT’S NOT ME!
I’m fun and love a challenge but it’s the fat me.
I shy away from activities I may get embarrassed in
e.g. Swimming (who wants to see me in my bathers?)
going to the fair (imagine not being able to do the safety harness up?) –
that’s not me that’s the fat me.
Yet still admitting this isn’t enough to make me
want to fight for the old me, the real me.
I was 9 stone and fit and fun when I got married,
that’s the girl my husband fell in love with.
We still laugh but I don’t laugh as hard and
now my husband loves me for being a good mother and wife
(how I would love him to look at me with lust and admiration like he used to)
but still this isn’t enough to make me want to fight for it.
I ache some days for the feeling of lightness and freedom
and fun that I have tasted before but still not enough to fight for it.
I will try to change but as soon as the going gets tough
and I miss a morning exercise session or
fall into the cake trap or miss weighing in slimming club,
I simply grasp hold of my other,
more successful things and let go of the dream of being slim again.
I read your words and they are so true and they hit a nerve
yet never hit it hard enough.
I look at you and your beautiful face and
your fantastic figure and I feel envy and admiration
but never enough to inspire me to try and replicate your diet or lifestyle.
I have friends who love my company,
I am the funny fat bird after all!
Friends who knew me slim and still think
I’m beautiful and tell me so,
and how smart I always look (it’s getting harder and harder)
and still it doesn’t make me want to fight, I just buy bigger clothes.
I know my health is suffering.
I get breathless doing normal activities
I get excruciating heartburn that I don’t get when I’m eating healthily.
Yet still…… Maybe it’s been so long since I’ve had these feelings
that I think I remember how they felt but it’s not deep enough,
it’s weakened over time.
I am battle weary.
I’m tired of fighting for survival in this pressure pot world we live in.
I work hard and play hard and that doesn’t leave a lot for anything else!
I’m not writing this because I want you to wave a magic wand,
I just think your beliefs and teaching are true
and will work but people have to be in a place where
they are receptive to them now.
How you get someone like me to that place is another challenge,
I am intelligent and well educated and
can tell anyone what they need to do for a fit and healthy life.
I live to learn and I learn new things every day,
I learn things from your emails,
they make me think about things but how do I internalise this knowledge???
I am like the pupil that can regurgitate the answer
the teacher wants but doesn’t understand it!
In the words of Alanis Morrisette – isn’t it ironic?
(I am a teacher and a bloody good one at that!!)
Thanks for listening and reading and caring enough
to ask me why I don’t take action, the answer is I don’t care enough about me.
I don’t have the passion about me that I have about
my expectations for my children, even though
the best thing I could be is a good role model,
it’s that old case of do as I say not as I do.
She KNEW someone to send out that SOS.
Mrs X reached out and asked for HELP.
Imagine feeling like Mrs X right now.
You can do it no matter what time of year it is.
All you need to do is step up and take action.
off in January.
They WILL achieve the body & goals of their dreams for 2016.
Don’t feel like Mrs X used to anymore.
YOU could be the next success story.
Get your New Year plan confirmed and get excited to change.
P.S Send me any questions you have for my podcast. I”m recording it at 9am today